Random thoughts II

This is the second installment of my boredom... nyhahahahahaha... Why is it that a person only realize that he loves you when you already found the person who will love you the way you want to? What's fucked up about it is they only realize it when its already too late. Way too late! A friend of mine answered that query said "it is natural. Its im the mature of the person. They will only see your worth when you're already happy with someone else. Its because when you're single you're readily available anytime he wants to be with you. And knowing that you want him will make him go for the persons he likes first." that's what's fucked up about it. a heart is not a toy. a person's feelings is not something you can play around with or take for granted. i remembered a quote written by my favorite author(paulo coelho). he said' " one is loved because one is loved. no reason is needed for loving. you know what? i a gree with him. you love someone because that's what you feel. that's what your heart tells you. and if you really trust your heart it will never betray you. you dont have to have reasons to love a person. if you do have a reason to love that person, what will you do if you woke up one day and found that that reason is gone? can you still love the person? or do you still love that person? and oh.. can ex lovers really be friends? what if your ex betrayed you? isnt it too convenient for him to betray you again now that you're only just friends? can you imaging the pain he put you through back then? can you imagine feeling that again? maybe you can be friends but not that close. maybe more like acquaintances. oh another thing.. does it really work to keep yourself busy just to move on? i think that depends on a person. because one day you will stop and think why you are busy all the time. and all wil come flashing back. the hurt, the tears, the pain, the betrayal. everything will come flashing back when you realize that you're being busy just you want to forget that person who broke your heart. for me, closure is the best way to move on. find out why he idd it or why did it happen. and if you have the answer, accept it and move o. for me, there are five stages after a breakup. first is denial, after a break up you deny to yourself that your relationship has already ended. you make up fantasies just to fill that denying part of you. and when you finally accepted the fact that it has already ended you enter the secodn stage. the second stage is bitterness. bitterness is actually self explanatory. bitterness, like love, is very subjective. subjective in the sense that every individual expressess different forms of bitterness. some say bitterness is the fruit of denial. but for me, its something like a defense mechanism to cover up what is left hanging. like unanswered questions. questions that haunts you. questions that confuses you. quiestions that bother your heart. when you overcome bitterness you enter the third stage. the third stage is closure. when you say closure, this is the part where you actually confront you fears of talking to or asking your ex-lover why your relationship ended that way. a peice of advice! when you confront your ex, dont be all too cocky like you didnt do anything wrong. in a way there are some factors or some mistakes you did thats why he betrayed you. just be calm like you just want to talk to him as a friend. dont panic. closure is really needed to avoid unecessary hang-ups. hang-ups can ruin a good relationship. lastly, the foruth and fifth stage goes hand in hand. the fourth stage is acceptance. when you finally have the answers to your question, you should accept it and move on, the fifth stage. only then that you can love and give yourself to the person you love or loves you completely. but why is it so hard to love again when you've been hurt many times before? isnt it that when you love you risk yourself getting hurt? loving someone is having the courage to let them love you back. love is not love when you dont risk yourself. anyway you look at it, you can never say the person you love can never hurt you. even in a little way he can. so dont complain. nothings perfect in this world. and what is freedom anyway? is freedom the absence of commitment? and whats up with those self proclaime "player"? what do they get from breaking someone's heart? do they get some strange pleasure in doing so? id like to see them go through all the pain and hurt they caused. beware of KARMA. for me id rather tell me you dont love me or that you're not appy anymore than cheat on me. i can accept the fact that you dont love me anymore than pretending you do love me but behind my back you're cheating on me. let me tell you the rule of KARMA. what you do to others will come back to you ten folds. anyway im kinda tired, here are lines from a song dedicated to those "players" and persons who take other's feelings for granted.

someday someone's gonna love me
the way i wanted you to need me
someday someone's gonna take your place

one day ill forget about you
you'll see i wont even miss you
someday i know someone's gonna be there